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Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.

Second, it ignores your responsibility to deal with the issue at hand and passes it to someone else.

Threatening to tell someone else rubs salt in the wound.You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.I will also give the Play Therapy based alternative with a short explanation of why it is more effective.Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).

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